I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
