so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
