ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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