You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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