I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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