Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize