Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
