why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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