I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize