I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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