she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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