If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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