We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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