we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
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The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
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Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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