I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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