is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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