Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
