i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
