he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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