I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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