Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
My balls are so social today.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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