i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
