We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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