This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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