I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
