Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It's just like the Real World with babies
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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