If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
