There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
