Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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