I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how do flat chested girls get laid?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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