shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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