brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
