Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
