there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
