I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
