no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
