He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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