i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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