So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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