fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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