oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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