he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
