I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
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I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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