Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
