i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
