I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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