You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
