I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Another day, another engagement, another cat
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
