im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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