Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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