My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you would pick up someone in the library
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
