PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
