I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize