What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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