who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
