Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
