Ambien. No doubt about it.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
