real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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