How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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