He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
