coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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