When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
