I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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