Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
