I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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