I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Randomize
