This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
