I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
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She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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