I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
