I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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